I couldn’t believe my friend was gone. I missed her a lot. I missed her smiles. I missed her motivation to read. I missed her vibrant soul.

She wasn’t someone like that before. She once believed in sexual purity and that was what made her not to have a boyfriend.

She wasn’t a fornicator, but situation allowed her. She stood her ground initially. The lecturer failed her because she failed to sleep with him, twice.

She wasn’t the only one that the man threatened, but she was the only one that died. Maybe because she was a novice. The other girls the man slept with knew much about ab0rtion. They carried it out expertly. There was a doctor that did their ab0rtions for them, so it wasn’t the man that gave them medications.

The bottom line is that Mr. Komolafe was an agent of the darkness. Although my friend died, but others were living corpses . They were alive, but dead because they became empty vessels. Their real beings were dead. They were paid huge amounts of money. They thought they were enjoying life because someone gave them urge amounts of money to flex. They never knew that their glory had been exchanged with temporary money that has no value.

Hmm, devil doesn’t relent. Yes!

Dear reader, the devil isn’t relenting on your case. That’s why you need to be very close to God because He is the only one that can give you victory over the devil.

If you are not in God, you are not safe ooo because you are just like a fowl that has been tied down that can be k!lled at any time. So, find your way back to God if you want your life to be secured and hidden in Christ .

Sis. Dami, a once fervent sister died because she tried aborting a pregnancy.

I want you to know at this junction that what works for you may not work for others. Devil is very smart.

There are many people that committed abortion 5 times and never died. There are some people that attempted it once and it claimed their lives. There are some people that stole countless of time and were never caught.

There are some that will steal just once and it will land them inside the prison. There are some people that will sleep with men times without number and will never get pregnant. There are some that just once, belle straight.

---

I packed my things and left her hostel to my hostel. Funny enough, Mr. Komolafe was sacked.

It wasn’t easy getting over Dami’s death. She was buried. In facther mother ran m.ad

. She was the only child of her parents. Her father became a shadow of himself.

Did I tell you that I was made the sisters coordinator in my campus fellowship?

I was called “mama”. I made it a most to check on the welfare of my sheep.

I received a call from the G. C (General coordinator). He told me that one of the brothers in church was sick. I told him to go with his fellow brothers to visit the brother.

He told me I must follow them, because they needed me to prepare meal for him. I agreed to follow him.

We fixed a time for visitation.

I was set. I called the G. C so that we could visit the brother that was sick.

We all met at the church.

As we were going, GC and his assistant receiced an emergency call. Another brother was involved in a fatal accid-ent. So, they had to rush down to the hospital.

They told me to go to the brother’s house that they would come over as soon as they were done. They took their leave.

I was confused.

“How will I go alone to a brother’s place to cook and check on him?” I asked no one in particular.

A thought came to my mind to call another sister to go with me. I thought of calling sis. Bimpe.

As I was about to call her, a thought came to my mind.

“Bisi, nothing can happen. You know you are a very strong sister that believes in sexual purity. Just go to his house, do whatever you want to do and take your leave as soon as possible. Besides, the brother is sick, so he cannot do anything. If he tries to do anything, just take to your heels or defend yourself with whatever you see to hit his head. So, don’t go with anybody.”

I saw it as a good thought. So, I went to his house.

Immediately he opened the door, he was happy to see me in his house.

” How is your health, bro. Gbolahan? “I asked.

He told me he was getting better. I was happy he told me he was getting better. I told him I wanted to take my leave since he was better.

All of a sudden, his countenance changed.

” Sis. Bisi, I am very hungry. I don’t know if you can prepare something for me to eat.” He said, doing as if he was going to die.

“There is no problem, bro. Gbolahan.” I said as I went to his kitchen to prepare something. He went to sleep.

I never knew he had locked the door.

As soon as I was done preparing the meal, I served him and told him I was ready to leave. I tried opening the door. It was locked.

Immediately, he grabbed me.

I remembered sexual purity….

I fought so hard to release myself from his grip.

I screamed. I begged him to leave me alone. I really fought so hard.

I couldn’t release myself. I was scared to my marrow.

“Godddddd!!!!! Deliver me!” I prayed within.

Before I could say “jack”, hmmm! I was r.a.p.e.d

.

Immediately he was done, I looked disgusting to him.

“Gbolahan, may God punish you for what you did to me.” I cried.

Did you know that Gbolahan was the Evangelism coordinator?

Hmmm!!

“So, sis. Bisi is not even a strong sister. Our SU mama has been defiled. You are sweet oo. Good! Mission accomplished.” He said joyfully.

I went back home in tears. I couldn’t believe that my virgi.nit.ty has been taken just like that. I couldn’t forgive myself. Everything about my body was disgusting to me.

I told my G. C about what happened.

Could you believe that Gbolahan went ahead to report me to my leaders that I sed-uced and lured him to bed. He told them I was an agent of the darkness sent to ruin his life.

All my leaders believed him. Well, who won’t believe him when he expertly framed his lies and backed them up with crocodile tears.

I just don’t know how to put everything he said. If I should start saying how this brother painted me black, the tears I have been holding back will flow like a running tap.

I was pained. I was broken into pieces.

I tried to wash myself clean in the presence of everyone. I tried to defend myself, but people failed to believe me.

“I knew sis. Bisi was possessed before now. Most of the times, most active and vibrant sisters are demonic. They are just serving God( not with their true hearts) in order for men to praise them and so that their secrets won’t be exposed.” G. C said to my pastor right in my presence.

I broke down in tears because I knew I was innocent.

Everyone saw me as the real devil himself.

The rumor spread like a fire outbreak.

” So, sis. Bisi, that SU lady isn’t a Christian. So, she is possessed. Holy holy sister is a demon.” Someone said to her friends. All of them bursted into laughter, sarcastically. They never knew I heard them.

I walked away immediately and went straight to my room. I cried my eyes out.

” God, why me

.” I cried out.

I felt like committing su-icide.

Esther heard about it. She packed her things and came to my hostel just to make sure I was fine.

I never knew Esther had finally given her life to Christ.

“Bisi, I knew this was going to happen. Please, just be strong. I think only God understands everything that happened to you.

Suicide isn’t the best option for you. I believe all things will work together for your favor. I believe God will fight for you when it is time. I believe that God will really mend your shattered heart.

Please, just be strong. Don’t allow the devil to be jubilating over your life. You need to prove to the devil that he has failed by committing everything into God’s hands and wearing a happy face. I want you to put the garment of praise and prayer on to show that devil is a liar.

But, if you keep crying, you are making the devil to be happy. If you commit suicide, then you will allow the devil to jubilate completely for ruining your life. I believe something good can still come out of you. So, cheer up. I know what I am saying may not make sense to you. Just be strong. God is in control.” Esther said. She really encouraged me. I cried on her shoulder.

In fact, no one in my church looked after me. In fact, the post (Sisters welfare coordinator) given to me was given to another person.

I later got to know that no brother was involved in any accident that day. I got to know that my G. C, bro Gbolahan and bro. Tayo (assistant G. C) set me up.

I stopped attending my fellowship because the shame was unbearable for me.

I began to follow Esther to her church.

She really stood by me. Some people in her church also stood by me.

ASUU strike came up.

Everyone went back home.

I also traveled back home.

I didn’t tell my parents anything because I wasn’t used to telling them things. I wasn’t free with them because they were very strict.

I felt like telling them so that they would even encourage me. I just couldn’t.

My mum noticed that I was well reserved. She noticed I was always depr-essed. She noticed I do shed tears sometimes, even in the middle of the night. She just couldn’t fathom what the issue was.

She tried asking me. She wanted me to be fine. I made her to understand that I was fine but within me, I knew I was dying. In fact not just dying. I was already dead and decaying.

I kept on asking God to take my life because the thought of returning to that same class (when ASUU strike is over) where I was painted black was like a k-íller to me.

Hmmm!

After two months of being ra-ped, I suddenly fainted. My mum rushed me to the hospital.

When the result came out, the doctor told my mum that I was pregnant.

I just couldn’t hold my tears when I heard I was pregnant. Little wonder I missed my period after one month of the incidence. I thought it was normal because I do have irregular period.

My mum acted as calm as possible all through my stay in the hospital, but immediately we got home, my mum descended on me.

She gave me the beatings of my life. Well, I really wanted to die because the shame was something I couldn’t bear.

Immediately my dad returned that weekend, my mum disclosed everything to him. My dad called me to confirm if everything she said was true. I told him everything was true. Before I could say “jack” dad carried cutlass. He was so angry.

Immediately I saw that he was coming to my direction, I took to my heels. He chased me. He ran after me. In fact, it became a scene. Everyone in my community came out to beg my dad to at least pardon me.

My dad didn’t listen to me. I ran as fast as my legs could allow me.

Along the line, he went back home and told me never to enter his house again.

I cried my eyes out.

“God, you never told me that I will experience this. God, why me?

”.

I went back home after some hours. Immediately my parents got to know that I was the one, they chased me.

To cut the long story short, my parents sent me away from home. They told me to go and be living with the man that impregnated me.

I became so confused. I called Esther and narrated everything to her. She told her parents.

Her parents told me to come and be staying with them. They tried talking to my parents that I was raped, but all fell on deaf ears.

So, Esther parents were my helpers sent to me.

I felt like aborting the pregnancy because of shame. But, I remembered Dami’s case.

JOURNEY OF A SINGLE MOM

CHAPTER NINE

Of a truth, Esther’s parent really stood by me. I could vividly remember that I was the one who told Esther to visit the hospital when she was being rap-ed, but I didn’t apply wisdom in my case.

I told her something I failed to apply. I was supposed to visit the hospital immediately the ra-pe incidence happened, but I thought nothing could happen. I thought I wasn’t going to be pregnant. I was very wrong.

Esther’s mother registered me in a private hospital for antenatal. Things were going fine, although I couldn’t forgive myself for what happened.

Everything about me was a mess. I felt I was a burden to my helpers. I decided to claim my life because I was just fed up of everything. The shame wasn’t something I could bear.

Unfortunately, everything I took didn’t kil me. Maybe because God was still in need of my life. I even went ahead to ab-ort the pregnancy, but everything became futile.

The day Esther’s mother got to know that I had been gulping down abortion pills for long, she became mad at me. She was highly disappointed that I wanted to ab0rt the pregnancy and even claim my own life.

She told me she wasn’t complaining of taking good care of me. She really spoke to me. I still saw myself as a burden to her.

“Mummy, I really appreciate you for all your efforts over my life. But, it seems God has forgotten me. It seems He is still angry at me. In fact, I look like a piece of trash. My body seems to be disgusting to me. I just feel bad about myself and that is why I want to die.

Mummy, shame has eaten me up. My own parents even forsook me. I wish death can knock at my door.

Mummy, I still find it hard to forgive those that contributed to my calamities. I can’t just bear the mockery. I just wish I can leave and never looK back.” I cried out.

Esther’s mother hugged me and wiped my tears. Esther also came to where I was and also hugged me.

I felt loved. I couldn’t help but shed another round of tears.

” Dear, I took you up from your miry clay because God instructed me to do so. When my daughter told me everything that happened to you, He instructed me to groom you.

I want you to know that you are a vessel in God’s hands. You are a clay in God’s hands. That is why when some thing happens in your life that is beyond your control, you just need to give the wheel to God to take control.

What happened to you was something beyond your control. That is why I still want you to commit your life into God’s hands . I want you to trace your steps back to God because God is not tired of moulding your broken pieces.

I know you’re shattered. I know you were dejected by people especially your parents. I know many people betrayed you, especially those you really trusted. Well, one thing I also know is that, God isn’t done with you yet. God isn’t tired of building your broken pieces.

Yes, you may think God is far from you. May I tell you that He is very near. He is right there with you, but He will not struggle with you if you don’t invite him to take the wheel of your life. But , if you hand over everything to Him, He will beautify your life despite all that happened.

So, I want you to start afresh with God. Give Him your broken pieces and He will definitely amend it. In facr, he will so much decorate your life to the extent that all those who once mocked you will glorify God for what He has done in your life. Yes, it’s just a matter of time.

Bisi, I sense something. What if you later end up marrying Gbolahan, your rapist? “She asked.

” I reject it in the name of Jesus. God forbid!!!” I shouted.

” I didn’t mean it actually. I was just asking to know if you are still having bitterness in your life. Nevertheless, if you don’t forgive others who offended you, I want you to know that God will not forgive you your sins. Gbolahan offended you, that’s fine!

But, if you don’t forgive him, you will find it difficult to move on in life because you are still holding on to hurt. You’re still holding on to pains. If you don’t release him from your heart, you will definitely not move forward in life. If you keep on holding on to pains, you will never receive the blessings of God because you haven’t released what is in your hand (bitterness). That is why you are always unhappy. That is you always wish him bad.” She said.

I forgave those who offended me. I moved on in life.

I knew I was going to birth twins according to what the result of the scan told us. I tried working inorder to get my babies’ materials ready, but Esther’s mother didn’t allow me to work. She got them for me. She did even beyond what my own biological mother would have done.

She didn’t allow me to work, but she really fed me with both physical and spiritual foods.

When it was two months to my delivery, the strike was called off. Unfortunately, I couldn’t resume.

When it was a month to my delivery, Esther’s parents followed me to my parents’ house to see if they were ready to accept me back.

Imagine, I was heavily pregnant.

Immediately dad set his eyes on me, he closed the door. He didn’t attend to us. He instructed my mother not to attend to us.

Mummy bursted into tears when she saw my condition, but she was helpless.

We returned home ie Esther parents’ house with our mission unfulfilled.

Everything that happened got me thinking. It was as if I should turn the hands of time. But, it was quite impossible.

“Dear Father, take the wheel of my life. I know I have missed it. I know my parents have disowned me. I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I believe you are my potter. I believe you are my maker. I believe you can still make my life beautiful. I believe you still give me another chance. I believe something good cam still come out of my broken pieces. Father, just work unhindered in my life. Take the wheels of my life. Take control of my future… “I prayed from the bottom of my heart.

I gave birth to my twins. Well, I had mixed feelings. I was happy that I gave birth to them alive. I was happy that the loads I carried for nine months were delivered. At the same time, I was sad because they were going to be trained without having a father in their life.

Esther’s mother scolded me and encouraged me to positive. She told me to be grateful to God for the gift of life.

To cut the whole long story short, I missed a whole year in school.

Esther resumed back to school while I was with her mum, taking care of my children. When I thought things were going to be smooth for me, death snatched someone very dear to me.

*

Esther’s mum really tried for me. She did what my biological mother wouldn’t have done. She was my everything. In fact, she really provided all I needed to cater for my children. She really took them as her grandchildren.

In fact, she taught me how to take care of babies because I was naive as a first time mom.

Despite the fact that Esther was far from me, we were still close. We communicated frequently. In fact, she was my gist patner. She told me virtually everything that was happening in school.

*

One day, Esther’s mum told me she wanted to go to the market to get somethings. I thought of following her to the market that day.

But, I didn’t know what made me to sit back at home.

“Bisi, will you follow me to the market?” She asked.

“Mummy, I will like to stay back. Make sure you buy ice-cream for me. Don’t forget that Taiwo and Kehinde will miss you as soon as they are awake.The two of them are already fond of you even more than their biological mother. So, don’t stay long, mummy.” I said, teasing her.

She was just blushing.

“I can’t wait to be back to carry the two of them and sing some of the songs I once sang when Esther was still a baby. Come here and give mummy a hug.” She said.

I ran into her widely opened arms.

You could imagine how blessed I was to have her in my life.

I was eagerly waiting for mum to be back from the market, only for her husband to place an urgent call across to me. He wasn’t with us because he was someone who wasn’t frequent at home due to his work.

So, he called me to tell me to rush down to the hospital.

“Hospital? For what, dad?” I asked.

“I received a call from a strange number not quite long. The caller made me to understand that mum was involved in an accident.” He said.

“A. c. c….” I stammerd. Trying to know if I was dreaming or it was actually real.

I expected someone to wake me up from my dream, but no one did. So, it was a reality.

Without wasting time, I called Esther to inform her. She couldn’t believe her eyes. She was scared to her marrow of losing her caring mother.

Immediately I got to where mummy was, I couldn’t help but shed tears because she sustained a lot of injuries which made it difficult for me to recognize her.

I thought her injuries were external. The doctor made us to understand that some of her internal organs were affected.

For hours, mum was like a lifeless fellow. I sat there, watching and shedding tears. After some time, I remembered prayers. I knelt down and prayed for her to come back to life.

Immediately I was done, I joined her on her bed.

“Mummy, I’m so sorry this happened to you. Please, get well soon. Mummy, please wake up.” I cried as I placed my head on her chest.

She opened her eyes and gave a very faint smile.

“Bisi, I knew this was going to happen. I knew I was going to die soon.” She said.

“Ahh! Mummy, stop saying that. How will you die soon? You are not going anywhere. Mummy, you are not leaving your children any time soon. Mummy, be positive. Stop saying negative things, because words are powerful.

Mummy, God said He will satisfy you with long life. Therefore, you shall not die, but live to declare the wonders of God. Death is not your portion, mum. You will be fine very soon.” I said in tears.

” Dear, you may not understand. Well, I never knew it was going to be this fast.” She said.

” This fast as how, mum? Mummy, be positive.” I shouted.

“You will not die. Mummy, say after me. I shall not die.” I said while she gave a smile before repeating what I asked her to say.

“All right. Let God have His way. Dear Father, I wish you can spare my life to live more years on earth. If it is your will for me to come home very soon, let it be. I can’t even wait to see those beautiful angels. I can’t wait to see you face-to-face. In fact, I just can’t wait to work on the streets of gold. I just can’t wait to connect with the saints of old. I can’t wait to see my lover. I just can’t wait to see and to eat out of the tree of life. I just can’t wait to live in a place where there is no sorrow, pain, tears… I just can’t wait to live in a place where God is the source of uninterrupted power supply (light).

Any time you call me home, father, I will be willing to answer. I am very sure at this junction that I have fought and I am still fighting the good fight. I am still running the heavenly race. I have fulfilled and I am still fulfilling the purpose of my existence.” She said as she was communicating with God in tears.

I felt that strong connection between her and her God. In fact, it was as if God was with her on her sick bed.

She didn’t know I heard most of what she said. I wanted to stop her but I became confused.

“What if her time on earth is up?” I asked myself and kept quiet.

“Bisi, I know what I am saying.” She finally said immediately she was done with her prayers.

Esther came in. She traveled down to visit her mother in the hospital immediately she had the news. Mummy’s husband came in.

Esther couldn’t help but shed some tears immediately she set her eyes on her mother.

We remembered God. The three of us (Myself, Esther and Daddy) joined hands together and prayed for God to heal mum.

Of a truth, God answered our prayers. In fact, after one week, mum was discharged from the hospital.

Our joy knew no bound when mum was back to her feet. Little did we know that….

To be continued.